Passing time with you in mind...

Tonight I miss my family. Especially my sister, who is celebrating her 21st birthday. Since moving from California to Illinois, there are moments sometimes where I get this little twinge in my heart wishing I was close to my family again. I am so happy with my life in Illinois and I think moving here was a wonderful decision. I don't have any regrets, but there's times when I just wish could have it all--all the wonderful things here in Illinois and the people I was close to in California; all at the same time. I haven't seen my family since June and this is the longest I've ever gone without checking in with them.

I wish I could be there to see my sister smiling and laughing and celebrating her birthday. I wish I could be more than a gift card inside a greeting card this year. Devon and I are always laughing when we are together--the way that sisters do best. Most of the time we are laughing about ourselves and things that no one else in the world would think is funny--or even understand. Like our pet/intruder turkies, or the other wildlife we came across in our various adventures. Or the time we were so frightened by what turned out to be a piece of paper that we ended up falling to the floor in terror/hysteria. Or the time that D got locked in her own bathroom without ever locking the door. It took hours to free her and the whole time we could hardly speak we were laughing so hard.

My sister and I are nothing alike. Almost every aspect of us is opposite from the other--but somehow that makes us fit together perfectly, like puzzle pieces. Where on protrudes out, the other caves in. We are seven years apart and if anyone ever asks me, it's the perfect gap in age for two sisters. I got to watch her grow up and change and turn into the person she is today. And I got to do that from the most unique perspective--as someone older than her peers but younger than her parents. Such a perfect place to be a big sister.

I'm so proud of Devon and all that she's accomplished. She is such a kind person with a great head on her shoulders. Devon is the kind of person that is easy to be around--and that cannot be said about just anyone. She follows through with everything she starts and I really admire that about her. Getting to watch her grow up was a privelage but it makes it hard on days like this to be away from her. Her turning 21 sort of feels like she's not little anymore. I know she'll always be my little sister but I guess that gap sort of narrows more and more with each passing year. I know that sounds like a good thing, and it is--but it's just odd thinking of her as all grown up. I know she doesn't need the kind of guidance she did when she was younger. I'm so grateful for the person she turned out to be and so proud to know her.

Someone else put this into much better words than I ever could:

Sister
Dave Matthews

Passing time with you in mind
It's a another quiet night
Feel the ground against my back
Counting stars against the black
Thinking bout another day
Wishing I was far away
Whereever I dreamed I was
You were there with me
Sister, I hear you laugh
My heart fills full up
Keep me please
Sister, when you cry I feel your tears running down my face
Sister, Sister, you keep me
I hope you always know its true
I would never make it through
You could make the sun go dark
Just by walking away
Playing like we used to play
Like it would never go away
Feel you beating in my chest
I'll be dead without
Sister, I hear you laugh
My heart fills full up
Keep me please
Sister, and when you cry I feel your tears
running down my face
Sister, Sister you keep me
I would never make it through
Hope you always know its true
You could make the heaven's fall
Just by walking away
Sister, oh when you laugh
My heart fills full up
Keep me please
Sister, when you cry I feel your tears
running down my face
Sister, Sister, you keep me